This is a draft that I wrote for my writers group, Faith Builders, and now my xanga entry. This summer is crazy busy, so I find myself being a bit scrappy with things like this. This is for all my dear friends asking how my Northern adventures went.

Everything I Have

Every time I venture from my small corner of the globe to an unchartered place I have never been, I find another piece of myself. Each place I visit teaches me another lesson and adds another dimension to the essence of who I am. The places I most like to find myself are among ancient architecture, haute couture, and fine cuisine, but this summer, I found myself among children, mosquitoes, and run down houses.

                I committed to teach bible school on the Native Reserves in Northern Canada, but as I sipped the last trace of my latte and left the outskirts of Thunder Bay, I began to question my sanity. I was not gifted with children, I was completely out of my comfort-zone, and I had only the whispers of God driving me to this tucked away corner of my Province. I arrived a few days early for my orientation, meeting the seven girls I would share experiences and one bathroom with for the next two and a half weeks.

                The easy work was the prep for the lessons; I loved academia and teaching, so I was in my comfort zone. I was even in my comfort zone going door to door on the Native reserves. I skirted the edge of my comfort when a man came to a door with a loaded shot gun to shoot the bear in the tree behind me, but I was still in control. The real test was Monday morning, facing a classroom full of little people with boundless energy willing to go to extreme lengths to soak up any attention I could give them. The first day, I went on a long run and had a hard cry; I was failing. God called me to the farthest corner of the world, had me in a situation where I was seemingly incapable of, and I had lost control.
At the end of my self-pity session, I squared my shoulders and tried again the next day

                I truly felt inadequate for the job, but I poured my heart into teaching these neglected little individuals that hope and love exists. Every morning, I would load up on bug spray, pray that I could see Jesus in their little faces, and set out to do some serious colouring and Red Rover games. Reading stories to overactive children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and short attention spans was futile, so I acted out the lessons and used flannel graph. I went to whatever measures I needed to grasp their attention; I sang, I danced, I wore costumes. Their attention levels did not improve much, but I was greeted every time I walked in the door with little arms encircling my waist.

                It was the same in every one of the four reserves I taught in, neglected children lusting for attention and love. I may not be the most maternal of individuals to walk the globe, but I could listen to their stories, play games with them, and appreciate their hungry little hugs. In their small eyes, I could see more pain, experience and hurting than most people experience in a lifetime. There were children with parents who burnt them with gasoline, children who never were given a warm meal, and children with no security. As the days progressed, I began to understand why I was called from my safe little enclave in Southern Ontario.

                I was not great with children, remote locations, or wildlife, but I could see Jesus in each one of their searching little faces and I knew this was not about what I was comfortable with. This was taking me from my comfort zone, to bless others with the aid of my Father. As I packed up to leave, I reflected on what I was taking back with me. It has been said that it is as important to contribute to another’s life as it is to let them add to yours. My students showed me poverty in the state of their run down houses, renewing my desire to give to others.  They showed me the great need for love, causing me to reach out to others and give them what they need. They showed me faithfulness,  I practiced endurance by teaching even when it was the hardest thing to head back to the reserves. And they showed me servant-hood, life is not about staying within your comfort zone and doing great things, it is stepping out to the least of these and just giving it everything you have.

Today, I found the most heartbreakingly perfect picture of a library I have ever seen. I immediately began plotting how I could aquire a couple billion dollars and make it a reality.

And then I thought...why stop there? I have wanted a walk in closet since I could ...well...walk. So I would have something that looks like this...

And I am a die hard foodie, so of course the kitchen needs to be spectacular....

Sigh.

Actually. I just really wanted to show you all the picture of the library.

Days of being chained to my desk are a distant memory, but I am not in a pool side commatose on a lounger either.

I am back to the Land of Red (Home Hardware), doing all things math. When I am not being a crazed secretary for the Home Installs Program, I am selling lumber or filling in for the accountant. Sounds exactly like me, eh?

Although I am working full time, I am trying to maintain sanity by regaining my abandoned social life, and getting involved in some side things.
I am in a running club, training for my half marathon at the end of the summer. (My goal is to run a full out marathon by the time I get my degree.)
I am also attempting to salvage my sad writing skills in a writing club, but there is nothing more humbling than having your pleasure writing ripped apart by 4th years and professors. So help me God.

I also am heading the world of bugs, fresh fish, and Native for all of July. I am teaching Bible School on the reserves in Hudson. It was something that I was always going to "get around to" ; and my goal right now is to stroke off every goal on my list.

In August, I am on the youth committee for the Tent Crusade's in Millbank. I am uber excited for that, and I can't wait to see what is going to happen in people's lives.

Because of my plethora of wedding's, our family is not taking a vacation, but we will be going somewhere on my reading week. (That is another story completely) All is not lost.

Have a beautiful summer, all! And be sure to find a lounger in the sun at some point.